Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
