I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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