I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize