Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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