I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
