lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize