This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
