Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
