I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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