I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
