yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
