dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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