i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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