Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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