i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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