This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
