4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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