i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
