i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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