Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
