Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
