Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
