I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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