90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
