i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
