Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
