You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
