hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
