I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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