Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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