Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
