My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize