he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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