His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
