By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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