Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
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