It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
