So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you had me at cake vodka
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
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