Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
