So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
