Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
