I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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