So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
