i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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