We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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