is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
