what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
