He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Panties = found
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
