how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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