i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
