i'm signing you up for texting rehab
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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