the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Someone signed my nipple.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
