Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
