did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
