I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
