she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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