Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I need a beard to bite.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
