Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize