Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
