Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
