i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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