she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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