my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
