Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
